Plagerised

Someone else's work below , that sums up the situation in the UK , where Cycling & Cyclists are an after thought for the majority of Politicians !  Pity they keep on harping about Cycling to get elected , but move on before doing anything worthwhile towards delivering ?

Bozo the clown , known currently as the " Lord Mayor of london " has recently announced that he is seeking to become a Member of Parliament in 2015 . Could it be that he knows the game of Blind Man's Bluff , is OVER ? Everything that he has promised is still virtually UNDELIVERED !  Each year funds brought down to be spent , are in many cases returned to the exchequer , UNSPENT !

Far from being the champion of Cyclists , he appears to be the blight that has seen Failure to Deliver , THRIVE !  Who follows him ?  Can they be any worse ?

The iten following appears to highlight the malaise that Cyclists currently endure :

  "  A day in the life of a British transport officer: "

"Hi there! Welcome to our lovely new cycle-safe British roundabout. On your bike yeah? OK, get off the road via this dangerous kerb onto a shared path that requires you to do a 90 degree turn. Obey all the signs telling you that you are of inferior status to pedestrians and must give way to them so that they feel entitled to shout abuse at you even when you're using the designated shared path. Let me show you our lovely toucan crossing for bikes. Take a seat for a few minutes whilst we let fresh air go past just in case a car might come by. Oh, now you're at the crossing would you mind awfully dismounting for no reason whatsoever. So you have to do that at each arm of the junction you need to cross.

Ready to get back on the road? Right, we've helpfully placed a glass and oil-covered kerb at a right angle so you can swing right out in front of that lorry that can't see you behind all the 'give way to pedestrians' 'cyclists dismount' and 'no cycling' signs and that lovely tree we planted to make the design look pretty. We helpfully ensured that the carriageway narrows just after the junction, so any drivers coming through will think they have space to overtake you safely when they don't. Just remember your body is a traffic-calming measure to make sure that both you and the drivers around you feel anything other than calm, just keep on riding and they'll slow down. Ahem.

When you're back on the road, make your way on the pothole and debris covered cycle lane that is clearly indicated by some worn out paint and a few other random old road markings we couldn't be arsed to remove properly. This cycle lane lasts for the grand distance of 25 metres and stops at a particularly dangerous secondary junction, where motor vehicles will cut in front of you. Oh, did you go over that poorly-signed section of path that is actually safer to ride on, but we forgot to designate as a shared path? Sorry, I'm going to need all your personal details and £90, this should only take another 20 minutes.

Now, if you look to the left there are some blokes in a van who need to hurl abuse at you and swerve into you for their amusement. That will be closely followed by a lorry that cannot legally be on the road driven by someone who is tired and can't see anything around them. Some cars with people on mobile phones driving them will be milling around too-isn't modern communication wonderful! Don't worry if any of them run you over killing or maiming you, if they cry and say they didn't see you, they won't be prosecuted.

Ah, you're wondering about that traffic sign in the bike lane leading back to the carriageway? Ah yes, well, if you could just vanish into nothingness for a few seconds, you'll pass it without any bother. Cross over to the footpath for 5 metres though and I'll be needing another £90.

Just to let you know there's a Police officer from Operation Safeway round the corner who has just ticketed a couple of drivers and will need to give you a bollocking for something like not wearing a helmet or high viz. Yes I know that's not illegal, but how can they be seen to be fair if they don't randomly harass a load of cyclists whilst ignoring all the drivers stopped in the wonderful ASL we put in for you.

Please smile and wave as you go past the Mayor and the press who are here to celebrate the opening of this fantastic new cycling facility. We spent most of the cash putting in extra traffic lanes and on consultants who have much more important things to do than ride a bike themselves - that's what this tiny proportion of funding is for isn't it? Oh yes, and thanks for taking part in the consultation process, that submission you spent hours on was read by a secretary who filed it away neatly. Well, no, we couldn't do what the Dutch do, we have to find our own solutions and with these three traffic lanes, there just isn't room for a protected cycle track. We do have an exchanging places event next weekend though, where you can exchange with a lorry driver so you can be horrified at how little they can see around them. Er, no, it's actually a special kind of exchange where the driver can bore you to death about how terrible cyclists are; that's much better than making them have a go on a bike in traffic around other HGVs.

Pick your jaw off the ground and be on your way, I guess I'll be seeing you later though: we're doing a travel options survey down at the hospital. Oh, I almost forgot, have this glossy cycle map of all the half-arsed and non-existent cycle facilities in the area - yes that road is a cycle route. Why? Well we put it on this map and there's a painted bike symbol on the road that no-one understands and a couple of blue bike signs that community volunteers have helpfully added their own tips to, like 'f*ck cyclists' and then turned out of sight of drivers. Have a great day now! Urgh, glad that tosser's gone now. Bloody cyclists!"

Plagerised

CITIES FIT FOR CYCLING : David Cameron on Cycling !

David Cameron voiced this comment , recently:

“ Anyone who has got on a bicycle — particularly in one of our busier cities — knows you are taking your life into your hands every time you do so, and so we do need to do more to try and make cycling safer...I think that if we want to encourage the growth in cycling we have seen in recent years, we need to get behind campaigns like this. ”

Member of Parliament for an area west of Oxford , the University Town known the world over , and a place you can move around more easily by bike , lends his support to cycling ahead of the “ Back Benchers debate “ in Westminster Hall . Known to be a cyclist in the past , but because of his position as Prime Minister , he is hustled from one appointment to the next in a convoy of vehicles these days . With London full of Foreign Dignitaries he was no doubt left with little choice as to how to fill his day . So what excuse did the remaining 500+ MP’s render fot their non attendance at this crucial debate ?

Forgivable if ill health kept some MPs away , BUT , if they claimed expenses for this day , and did not attend , then they are “ Fraudsters ” , with their snout in the Public Purse ! No doubt the “ Times Campaign journos ” can ascertain their whereabouts , and if there is no legitimate excuse , point them to a “ Cycling Charity “ where they can deposit their ill gotten gains ? I am not talking just about their expenses , I am suggesting they render their DAY’S Salary ALSO !

David Cameron as head of the Government NEEDS to sit down and think back to the decision to eliminate “ CYCLING ENGLAND ”! Just what purpose was served by that decision ? Oh , you wanted to save money ? Get real ! Each Serviceman killed in Afganistan is reported to cost the Country £1/2M , Yes , half a million pounds ! So each civilian killed on the streets of the UK costs the country , how much ? Reports that the UK invest 79p per person in Cycling related matters are laughable ! You can’t even buy a pint of milk at that price never mind a loaf of bread ! Smaller countries with smaller populations are investing as much as £ 20 each person , each year !

Balancing the Economy these days is fraught with uncertainty and so it is necessary to look at the long term picture as well as the short term . Does the UK save money by penny pinching on Cycling , NOW or do they spend massive amounts of money supporting those that are maimed on the roads and those that are becoming obese through lack of exercise , since they can no longer cycle on the countries roads ?

I understand that the UK was offering Tax Breaks on the purchase of Bikes that would be used part of the week to go to and from the workplace . This was a scheme that benefited all that participated BUT I gather it is now being phased out ! Each business reimburses employee for the use of their car on business related activities , but there are some that choose to use a bike . Some seen to thin that when you use a bike there is no expense so choose not to reimburse those miles ! Pettiness like this is rife , time the Inland Revenue stepped in and made the usage of Cycles reimbursable at the same rates as the smaller cars ! Think about the fact that there would be savings on parking costs and the time seeking parking , and the argument is already won !

If David Cameron is waiting for a Blind Man with a white stick , to point out these TWO areas of helping Cyclists in the UK , where he can ACT NOW , then , he is not the man for the job of leading the UK !

CITIES FIT FOR CYCLING : David Cameron on Cycling !